In our first edition of Cat Tales: Stories Of The Cat, we introduce She-Ra, house cat, Princess of Power and ruler over all the eye can see. 

My name is She-Ra – named for the Princess of Power. I live in a home with two "caretakers" whose names are Mom-Hole and Other Mom-Hole. I'm a self-proclaimed felinist, and I believe in antisocial equality for all.

Mom-Hole works at The Mountain T-Shirt company. She's not so bad. She feeds me most days, lets me outside when I stand at the slider door, and lets me back in when I realize it's way too cold out to pee under the deck (It's winter in New Hampshire, after all). She scoops me up and smells my popcorn belly, and says she doesn't think I'm fat even though the vet said I was chubby. This mom knows my value. In fact, she takes some of my hair to work with her every day, as it is her job to diffuse the magical power I possess onto every cat t-shirt that The Mountain creates. You see, as the Princess of Power, my mystical mane is the source of magic. There is a ceremonial song that is sung after each batch of cat t-shirts is completed. This is accompanied by the traditional cat spirit dance. All of the employees at The Mountain put their love into each t-shirt they dye and print. If you think this is weird, you should see what they do for the dog t-shirts...

Now as for the Other Mom-Hole, he's a piece of work. He wears my Mountain T-Shirts nearly every day, yet for some reason, he just does not get me. He closes the door when he goes in the bathroom, he washes the tuna can water down the sink without even offering it to me, and he even will go so far as to pat me when I'm trying to sleep on the couch. I appreciate that he has such a great collection of cat t-shirts from The Mountain. He even has other animal tees in his wardrobe. I just wish he'd get with the program and embrace the power of the cat tees from The Mountain and learn to not sleep on my side of the bed.